Connecting With Your Children After a Long Day

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Article Summary

After a hectic day at work, who doesn't long to go home and relax, unwind, and enjoy some peaceful family time. After a hectic day at work, who doesn't long to go home and relax, unwind, and enjoy some peaceful family time. But for parents of small children, coming home after a long day is often a challenge: Somehow, a preschooler or a toddler, or both, want and expect to occupy your lap, and your full attention, from the minute you walk in the door until they drop off to sleep. There's a tummy or two to feed, upsets to take care of, and perhaps tears to wipe.

How you handle the first 15 minutes after you're home is key. If you take charge in a positive "IÆve got a plan" fashion as you enter the front door, the possibility of drama decreases. Try to stick with a structure that the children can count upon, one that moves the transition along but also gives them the attention that they are seeking. Ignoring their attempts at communication (whining, talking, and hanging onto your pant leg) only leads to more attention-seeking behavior, so you might as well initiate the fun interaction as soon as you meet and greet. Following these guidelines may help you and your children reconnect and help everyone have a successful evening.

Focus on Them First

Let Them Be Little Helpers

Stick to the Schedule

Focus on Them First

Put your things on the counter and begin the ritual. Consider setting a timer for 15 minutes. Use this time to sit down with your children and play tickle, or ask about their day and discuss what snack they'd like while you're fixing dinner. Then try to engage them in an activity on their own (blocks, cars) or playing with each other. This teaches them to begin to depend upon themselves or their siblings during transition times rather than relying solely upon a parent. And it gives them time to realize that their toys are interesting or that their brother or sister is actually better at building things with Lego, and therefore more fun, than you are. When the buzzer sounds everyone will know that it's time to move on to the next activity ? such as getting ready for dinner.


Let Them Be Little Helpers

While you're preparing dinner, have your children "help" in small ways ? pouring water into the dog's bowl, putting the plastic cups on the table, or "reading" to each other from picture books. Never underestimate how much a little one can do. Most little kids are happier when they are busy and are actually better "helpers" than some teenagers! Helping you in the kitchen or "babysitting" a younger sibling gives a sense of responsibility and maturity ? and that helps little ones to feel competent and independent.


Stick to the Schedule

We're not talking military school here, but it does help to have a nightly routine that you and your child or children follow and that all can rely on. Dinner, bath, teeth brushed, a story read, and off to bed with hugs and kisses given makes for a pleasant end to the day. Now, take your 15 minutes of relaxation before the little one notices the monster in the closet and it all begins again!

Category Tags:

Behaviour

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Development

,

Working parent

Article Tags:

whining

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bonding

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routine